I exist! Been a little crazy and super busy lately, but nothing to complain about. Job with Verizon has been and continues to be totally awesome. In fact I am currently posting this from my amazing Droid phone, thus I will need to do a more thorough updat later via computer with actual keyboard, but typing on the Droid isn't too bad. Have been busy trying to be a responsible adult with mixed results. My social life has suffered a bit more than usual, but I have also been spending more time with the online buddies too since sometimes its just easier to use laptop in bed. Still trying to make sure I have fun time with people, its just not happening as often now that I'm working full time.

Saw Boondock Saints 2, loved it, and highly recomend it to everyone...make sure to see the original if you haven't yet, there are a million tiny jokes that only make sense if you've seen the original.

I think I might have this total nerd crush on a guy in my wow guild. Not even going to go into the logistics of it here, but he's awesome. In fact the entire core of the guild continues to be awesome and I am so glad Mik and Chris convinced me to transfer servers and join them. Just when everything is going great hormones kick in, but who knows, maybe this will pass soon as the chemicals balance out. Either way, guild is made of win and I <3 those guys!

Am horrible because I seriously need to make time for St. Kate's gals...I have not seen them in much too long, and its really not that far of a drive.

Yay Droid phone and its internet of awesome

New guild is <3!

The whole reason I joined WoW was to play with my buddies, so when Ro and Mike changed servers I eventually did too. Changing servers resulted in a NEW GUILD that I swear is made of awesome!

Old guild: You're not geared, no runs for you!

New guild: Your gear sucks...let's go run shit!

The people are much more fun, and laid back, and provide slightly more swearing and pervy comments (I have adjusted just fine ^_^)

For many various reasons I got my cartilage pierced. Primary reason: It's Shiny!


Surprisingly, it hardly hurt. I went to a friend of a friend at a tattoo parlor, and he used one of those needle things, but before I even had time to cringe it was done. Actually, putting the earring in was more annoying then getting the actual hole pierced. For the next few months I've got a cool silver bar with an amethyst gem on the end going through my upper ear. The guys who did it was awesome and told me if I come back in 4-6 months when the hole is healed he'll change out the earring for free. I figure the first time it will be best to let the pro do it.

I had the piercing done last night, and am still waiting for the family to notice it. Am also already considering what other styles of cartilage earrings I can get (and wait 4+ months to put in...)

Leave me a comment and I will give you a letter.
Then, write 12 things that you love starting with that letter.
Post the list in your journal.
Give out letters to those who comment in return.

csquareded gave me T

1. Top Gun. Probably my favorite movie of all time. Not super deep, but I can watch it over and over again and still love it.
2. Theology. Aka the study of religion. I like learning about different religious practices/beliefs. I also really like trying to understand the universal meaning behind religions. Religions intrigue me.
3. Traveling. I like seeing new places and being able to visit places that are historical, important, meaningful, pretty, different, or just down right neato
4. Tales. Love reading and listening to stories. Everything from great works of fiction to funny stories from work.
5. Tigger. See main userpic. My favorite Disney character!
6. Timber wolves. Amazingly beautiful animals. Their howls give me shivers.
7. Tudor History. It all started with a kiddie book on Elizabeth 1, and took off from there. I can't get enough of the dynasty history and different versions of the historical events. Henry 8 is fascinating, and Elizabeth 1 is a hero of mine.
8. The Three Musketeers. I love the story, and most film versions. Romance, action, adventure, justice, revenge, horse chases, wenching, it has everything!
9. Tzatziki. Greek specialty that is used as a gyro sauce and for dipping. Usually made with yogurt and cucumbers. Delicious!
10. Tunes. I love music, both listening to it and performing it (on an instrument, I can't sing) when I get a chance.
11. Tastes. I really enjoy trying new foods and drinks (drinks especially since I turned 21). I will try anything once.
12. The Puppy. Come on, things I love? Nikki has to make the list. Should be fairly self-explanatory, she's my Nikki-puppy.

Stuff has happened, maybe details about that later, but right now I'm pretty darn happy since I'm up north at my Grandparents' house/cabin on the lake. I <3 my extended family! It's crazy, my 5 hyperactive cousins are all under 13, the dogs are running in and out of the house and jumping into the lake, and my 2nd, 3rd, etc cousins/relatives pop in and out randomly to visit.

I've spent most of the weekend in the water or on one of the boats, and got to water-ski! Jumping the wake is getting easier, with more air time and less flailing to regain balance. Still have not mastered dropping a ski, but it's fun, and wiping out in the water isn't too bad.

We attempted to set off our own fireworks for the 4th of July. This probably would have turned out better if my uncles hadn't kept us (meaning us who are over 21) well stocked with new drink concoctions they invented throughout the day, from about 3 o'clock on (Plain old beer and wine is never exciting enough for my family ^_^). Moral of the story is that we had a 'duck and cover' moment when the launcher tube exploded, sending off a bright green firework at ground level. Of course the adults and little kids were all smart, standing up on the deck away from the excitement. Me, my brothers, and Tyler (2nd cousin or something) were all drinking the yummy red cherry vodka concoction and standing down on the patio "helping" with the fireworks. I got shoved over by my own brother as he raced to the patio door, eager to save his own skin, and I was still processing why the firework seemed so bright and LOUD. After determining that there were no major injuries Tyler decides to oversee the next shell before its launch and announces that my uncle had it in upside down. That's about when Grandma took away the lighter and said we were done for the night.

For some reason I was recruited to help with the local Miss Minnewaska pageant this weekend. My 2nd cousin was a Queen Candidate and apparently these relatives do not know me very well. After some hair/clothing/cosmetics mishaps I was designated the mirror holder, and that was one job I did well. Still, it was fun to be included with the girls. Ana was crowned 1st Princess (meaning she's runner-up to the Queen), and we all considered it a success. We celebrated with a bonfire, it was awesome.

I am utterly and totally in love with Charlie, my youngest cousin and also my Godson. He's 6, and adorable! He has more energy than anything, is almost always in a great mood, and thinks I'm pretty darn cool since I'm always willing to play with him (I can't resist, that kid has me wrapped around his finger). He was sleepy enough to snuggle with me on the pontoon ride yesterday. So cute!

I feel alone and emotionally isolated. I wish I could feel like I actually belong in my family, and this goes deeper than me being jealous of the bond my brothers have since I don't have a sister or a particularly close relationship with them anymore. I see other families where the members have their individual tastes, but still connect either through shared interests or at least trying to understand and appreciate each other. I want to know when all those pretty saying will came true, and my family will be ones I count on, or my siblings will be my life-long best friends, or blood is thicker than any other bond.

I'm like some freaky changeling that got switched at birth or something. I have nothing in common with my parents or brothers. I've tried to study up on what they like so I can understand it, but so far that involves my getting teased and jeered at, and told how clueless I am. They don't understand my interests and passions, which if fine since not everyone likes the same things, but they don't even respect what I say or think. Nothing I'm interested in is good enough, or even acceptable conversation material since I might embarrass them. I can't even hide out in my room and read or listen to music without getting critiqued..."Why do you waste your time reading those fantasy books? You're such a looser, you never go out. What kind of trash are you listening to?"

I want to be accepted, and to be treated like a worthwhile contribution to my family. Heck, right now I'd even take tolerance if I can't get acceptance. Instead I get to hear that no, the migraine I had today was not a medical issue. It's my rightful punishment for something I did wrong, and it's my own fault for making myself sick. Obviously mommies have all the answers. I wish I could just disappear, I know my brothers would love it since they're trying to force me to move out. It's sad yet true, my brothers' girlfriends fit in better with my family than I do.

My birthday is June 9, yay me! I'm trying to plan something fun to do, mostly because I really really miss hanging out with everyone. It seems like I either don't get invited at all to anything, or I'll find out about plans too late to get a sub for work. Right now logistics are being problematic. I don't have my own place to invite people over to, I also don't want to spend a lot of money, and it's hard when not everyone I want to invite lives here in Burnsville.

It's really hard to motivate myself to plan something (even though it's for me) when I'm not even sure if anyone will show up. I understand that life doesn't always work the way it should, and complications come up. But I also get the feeling that certain friends are lazy, they're still people I enjoy hanging out with and have fun with but I can't rely on them. I wish I could plan something and know for sure that I could count on at least a small group of friends to be there no matter what.

My birthday should be fun, but I'm over thinking and starting to make it feel stressful. I'm starting to think that I should just go do something I wanna do, invite everyone to join me, and if anyone shows up that's who I'll hang with. I might be able to use my dad's connections to plan something fun/awesome, but have no idea of the numbers, so it's hard to get space and tickets when I can't count on anyone to commit, so that cool idea might be a wash. But who knows, maybe things will work out and I'll get a good number of responses from people.

Reasons I love my Nikki-puppy:
~Every time I walk in the door she is always, and I mean always there waiting for me, with tail wagging
~I can talk to her about anything and everything, and she patiently listens
~We can spend time just sitting, not talking or doing anything
~The way her eyes light up the instant I mention the words "walk" or "Dog Park"
~Cuddle puppy
~The happy little love-grunts she makes that sound like purrs when I scratch right behind her ear
~She's adorable, especially when she's shamelessly begging for attention, belly rubs, and treats
~She seems to know when I need puppy kisses and a nuzzle
~At the dog park she'll spend hours digging around in the water, trying to get sunken tennis balls. Very cute!
~The way she jumps and splashes in the water, displacing more water than a creature her size should be able to.

Things I got to do today:

1. Go with Mike Z. and watch him get his tattoo. This was especially cool because I have never been to a tattoo parlor before, and the artists there were super nice. They answered all my questions and let me see how the different little needles work. Tattoos are much more complex that I had thought.

2. Helped Mikey z. pick out her tattoo design. It ended up being a combination of the two designs she was deciding between, designed by the tattoo artist there on his computer. Once again got to watch the entire tattooing process, and once again was amazed.

3. Did not get a tattoo myself (fear of PAIN), but got info on cartilage piercings (still fearful of PAIN, yet want the ear-shiny)

4. Went to see Star Trek! I'll be the first to admit, I'm not a huge fan of the entire series, and I've only seen the random episodes that happened to be on TV. However, Diane (college roomie/buddy) is very much into Star Trek and got me interested in it a couple years ago, thus curiosity was peeked. The latest movie was amazing! It was easy to follow, yet the plot was complex enough to hold attention, and the action scenes and one-liners were great! I was very much impressed!

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Please take a minute to check out the website, and if you have any questions or want to know more about the awesome products let me know!

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Yesterday I had a very full, exciting, productive day planned. Look into an interesting business possibility, meet with CSC Career Development counselor, spend time catching up in person with St. Kate's gals, take Nikki for a long hike in the woods...Then my sinuses did a sneak attack and kicked my butt. The rest of me feels ok, but there's this huge, painful amount of pressure around my nose and eyes. Lifting my head hurts because it just feels all stuffed up and heavy.

Do any of you awesome f-list people have advice on sinus pain? Anything that works well for you? So far I've gotten temporary relief from Sudafed and Tylenol, and I've been trying hot towels over my eyes, as well as attempting to breath in steam from hot water. Someone once told me there's a pressure-point for sinuses on the hand, in the fleshy part between thumb and index finger, anyone know anything about that?

p.s. I know I'm overdue for a good, meaningful update, but we'll worry about that after my head stops trying to explode, 'k?

Being proactive!

Set things in motion, now no choice but to see them through. Roughly 40/60 chance, so we'll blame it on fate...maybe, if I can. If not, not my problem, so HA!

Given up trying to explain, my attempts so far have ended with anger. So BRING IT life! It's on like Donkey Kong! This weekend is going to decide it. Once and for all.

<3 you all, just so ya' know.

• I hate how I call someone for advice, then get lectured to by their significant other for not asking for help before getting myself into this mess


• I hate being told I'm incapable of making certain decisions for myself


• I really hate it when someone who in no way has any binding relationship to me and hasn't even know me for more than 3 years and doesn't even know me that well has the arrogance to say they feel a responsibility towards my life


• It really bugs me when you tell a guy you're scared of commitment and relationships, then he proceeds to call and/or text you numerous times a day. What else is there to talk about? The weather?


• I hate being a burden on others, financially (parents) and emotionally (buddies), and I really really hate when people act nice to me out of pity


• I hate being the fuck up, the one with the wasted potential, the example of what not to do


• Health insurance, and the bureaucracy they put you through just to try and get meds, is a new hatred in my life


• I hate feeling so drained by my life and my issues that I can't manage to help people get through their much bigger problems


• I hate muggers, and rapists, and people who take advantage of others. And people who hurt animals intentionally for fun. They should burn in a special level of Hades.


• I hate myself for being too cowardly or timid or unsure, and thus never taking a chance or taking things completely into my own hands. Working on cutting the safety nets

p.s. I also hate being sick, it sucks.

Was working at Caribou today. Seth came to visit. He brought me a rose and asked me out! <3

I'm gonna have a Jr. High moment and grin in a girlish fashion for the rest of the night, possibly week.

I'm getting more and more discouraged, the job hunt is going nowhere. So far everyone only wants to hire people with more experience than I have (How in Hades am I supposed to get this experience if I can't even find a job?). My current top choices for a career include:

1. Caribou Coffee drink inventor
2. Trivial Pursuit question researcher/writer
3. Indiana Jones. Or I will also accept Lara Croft.

Although right now I'd accept anything that pays better than Caribou (not hard to do) and includes some form of health insurance.

I'm not sure how I feel about St. Patrick's Day. On one hand, it's a day dedicated to drinking, which puts it right up there at the top of my list. And Irish culture, especially the music, seriously rocks (I've got Irish blood in my veins). Yet it's also the anniversary of my Grandma's funeral, and she's the one who's lineage supplies my Irish blood, so it's vaguely ironic that she was buried on St. Paddy's Day (also, she had picked out a green outfit to be buried in before she even went into hospice, it was fitting).

Now that I've grown up had more education, I know the story of St. Patrick is about more than just chasing out slithering reptiles. Pagans at the time were referred to as snakes, so in essence the day celebrates a hero of the Catholic church for chasing Pagans out of Ireland. That seems a bit more likely considering that snakes (the animal) aren't native to Ireland according to my ZooBook magazine (yes, I kept all my ZooBooks, they have pretty pictures!). But part of the Irish culture celebrated on present-day St. Patrick's Day includes some aspects of Pagan tradition, so in the end it's a celebration of the Pagans.

Even though the original story behind St. Patrick's Day is not something to be celebrating, the holiday has become a celebration of Irish culture (Leprechauns!). Is it wrong to support the holiday because of the original story behind it, or is it right to celebrate because of what the holiday has evolved to represent for the present?

Or am I just over analyzing it because I've always viewed St. Paddy's Day different since my Grandma's death and thus are more apt to pay attention to the debates?

Apparently I have Twitter. I discovered this today when I got an email saying phantmgreeneyes found me on Twitter.  This is news to me...must investigate.  And figure out my password...

Blah. I wish I had a time-traveling Delorian. Not only would it be a sweet car, but I could alter the past to make myself disappear from the present. That would probably be doing everyone (including me) a favor.

I just realized there are a lot of librarians and future-librarian students on my F-list (wtf? am I just attracted to the awesomeness of Book-Goddesses?). As well as many awesome friends who, like me, enjoy books without the hassle of trying to remember call numbers and alphabetical order (Mercedes Lackey novels should be arranged chronologically, bookstores!).

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/3/9/

Made me giggle.

Also made me think about my own interest in Amazon's Kindle or other electronic book device. I love the feel (and yes, smell) of my books. Yet books are heavy. Kindle is tiny and lightweight, and I wouldn't have to make the agonizing decision of what books to pack every time I go on a trip, lengthy car ride, or anywhere that might require me to quietly amuse myself with reading. Plus, thanks to online porn fanfiction I've gotten very comfortable with reading off a screen as opposed to ink and paper.

It took me like 5 minutes to think it through and understand the joke. Then I was like "Oh! Ha Ha Ha! I get it! Funny Comic!"


http://xkcd.com/552/